


at least i've got you in my head

by orphan_account



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, High School AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-02 00:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10932732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sometimes Lena goes to the studio even when she doesn't have a class, just to practice. Dancing helps her work out her feelings, or just put them away for a while.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is based on the book Chance To Dance For You by Gail Sidonie Sobat which is a really good book about a gay teen boy who lives in the suburbs and falls into a hidden relationship with the closeted teen jock. i liked it so i did it with lena and kara. there are some santana and brittany vibes especially with kara because i'm super into glee right now. also i can't guarantee that there will be more chapters b/c i'm garbage but probably there will be. comment if you liked it! or don't, i mean it's your choice

Lena's from... well, some people call it the "wrong side of the tracks". She's heard her mum refer to it as a "temporary arrangement". Temporary her ass. They've been there since Lena turned five years old. Her mum is just trying to make herself feel better. 

The kids at school call it "bastard town". Those kids have designer outfits and perfectly fine hair and shiny new sneakers. They don't like people that live where Lena's from. 

Lena calls it home. Mostly she likes it there. Her sneakers get beat up from walking over dirt all the time, and she doesn't get designer clothes, but it doesn't matter. She has her older brother, and he always takes care of her. He makes her food when her parents are arguing. He keeps the older boys away from her. 

He's taught Lena how to throw a strong punch if anyone calls her names. Specific names. They don't accept people like her there. Girls who like girls. Lena keeps her feelings hidden as well as she can, which she doesn't think is very well because people still taunt her. She's sure there are other girls who are hiding themselves too, only coming out when they feel it's right. Biding their time. It doesn't matter. 

She shakes her head, trying to clear out the thoughts and return to reality. The teacher is droning on and on about something or other, Lena doesn't know. She doesn't care. There's a girl sitting in front of her, with long blond hair. Lena wants to reach out and touch it. Inappropriate, she reminds herself.   
"Can I borrow your pencil?" asks the girl, turning around.   
"Me? What? My pencil? Oh! Yeah, of course," Lena stutters. God, she thinks. I'm a mess. She pulls a pencil out of her bag and hands it to the girl.   
"Thanks," says the girl. She's wearing a cheerleading uniform. Of course, Lena thinks. The girl gives Lena's pencil back after class. Lena doesn't stop thinking about her. 

Lena has dance class after school. Her family can't afford much, but they can pay to send Lena to ballet and contemporary classes twice a week, and Lena is a damn good dancer. She's been doing ballet since she was five years old. Her teacher, Ms. Lopez has been instructing her since she was seven.   
"I see potential in you, Lena," Ms. Lopez said to her. "Come to class more often. I'll make you a routine. It'll be especially for you." 

Sometimes Lena goes to the studio even when she doesn't have a class, just to practice. Dancing helps her work out her feelings, or just put them away for a while. Nothing matters when the music is on and she's doing a routine she knows so well. Few things feel as right to Lena as dancing does. 

The next day, during gym class (ugh), Lena sees the girl again. She's holding hands with some boy, walking across the field. She looks upset, her brow furrowed.   
"Mike!" Lena hears her say sharply, and then the girl looks around nervously and lowers her voice, still scowling. Lena taps a boy standing near her on the shoulder.   
"Hey," she whispers. "Who's that?"  
"The blonde one?" asks the boy.   
"Yeah," replies Lena.   
"That's Kara Danvers. I'm surprised you don't know her. She's head cheerleader. She's a pretty big deal around this school."  
"Thanks," Lena sighs. 

The bell rings, and everyone heads to their next class. Someone taps Lena on the shoulder.   
"What is it?" she asks, turning around. It's Kara. Why's Kara tapping her on the shoulder? Kara's popular. Lena isn't. She really isn't.   
"I just wanted to... talk to you," says Kara. "In here?" She drags Lena into an empty classroom. Lena can hear the clock on the wall ticking away as Kara seems to be working up the courage to tell her something. Her hair is shining in the sunlight, and Lena notices for the first time how damn beautiful she is. How lovely it would be to kiss her, right then and there. Lena should kiss the girls she wants to kiss. But she has a boyfriend. Lena shouldn't think like that.   
"So?" asks Lena. "What is it?"   
"Nothing, never mind," Kara says, leaving the classroom with a bitter look on her face. Lena buries her face in her hands, slumping down onto one of the chairs. She's already late for class, so she runs to the office to get a slip.   
"Kara," she mutters to herself on the way down the hall. "God, what have you done to me?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ms. Lopez is not impressed with Lena's dancing today. She shakes her head, and calls Lena over to her.  
> "Lena, Lena, Lena, my darling. What is wrong?"  
> "Nothing," says Lena.  
> "I can always tell," replies Ms. Lopez

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay i did a chapter two!! i'm going to continue it for as long as it makes sense, and school's nearly over so i'll have a bunch of free time on my hands. i hope you enjoy it!

Lena sits cross legged on her bed, her mind wandering as she tries to do her homework.  
"Lena," says Winn. "Lena. Are you asleep or something?"  
"What? No, I'm fine," replies Lena. 

She's been friends with Winn since, well, forever. They met in first grade and they've been inseparable since. Sometimes they pretend to date so that Lena doesn't get any crap because people think she's gay. Sometimes it works. Winn is really into technology stuff, which Lena really doesn't understand. He is helpful when she's doing homework, though. He has all the best study techniques. 

"Whatcha thinking about?" Winn's voice cuts through her thoughts.  
"Not much," replies Lena. "The usual. Dance. School. Girls." Winn laughs.  
"Me too, Lena. Me too. Anyways, we have to get back to work, for real this time," he says.  
"I don't want too, though," she moans back.  
"Yeah, but we have to," says Winn, mimicking her whiny tone.  
"Fine," says Lena. "What are we supposed to be doing?" 

Ms. Lopez is not impressed with Lena's dancing today. She shakes her head, and calls Lena over to her.  
"Lena, Lena, Lena, my darling. What is wrong?"  
"Nothing," says Lena.  
"I can always tell," replies Ms. Lopez. "Now go. Dance. Get rid of your problem and come back next week." Lena nods, and thinks hard about what her problem could be. 

She's in math class again when she figures it out. Kara asks for her pencil yet again, and when Lena gives it to her, Kara shines her a radiant smile. Lena can feel her knees getting weak under her desk. This girl will be the death of her.  
"Thanks!" replies Kara. "You're really nice, Lena, letting me borrow your pencils all the time. You look really nice today, by the way."  
"It's no problem," says Lena, and turns away before Kara can notice the bright red blush that's spread across her cheeks at Kara's compliment. 

"Have you seen Maggie Sawyer and Alex Danvers?" asks Lena.  
"How do you mean?" replies Winn.  
"Don't they look pretty... close?"  
"You're imagining things," replies Winn, as they watch Alex and Maggie walk down the hall arm in arm.  
"I don't think I am," says Lena.  
"You're just desperate for some other gay girls at this school. I get it. They're seniors. They're cool. This would be good for you."  
"You don't get it," replies Lena, sadly.  
"You're right. I don't," says Winn, nodding.  
"I want that for myself," Lena says.  
"An imagined romantic relationship between two friends?" asks Winn.  
"Sassy," replies Lena, and lightly smacks him on the arm. Winn frowns, but it turns into a grin soon enough. He was never good at pretending to be angry, especially not at Lena. 

Lena walks in on Maggie and Alex making out in the girls' washroom later.  
"I knew it," she whispers under her breath.  
"Please don't tell our parents," says Maggie, and Lena nods.  
"Of course I won't. I would never."  
"Thanks, little Luthor," replies Maggie.  
"You're welcome to come sit with us at lunch sometime," says Alex kindly.  
"I sense a kindred spirit in you, if you know what I mean," Maggie quips, and Alex is holding back giggles. Lena walks out of the bathroom bewildered, wondering if she's really that obvious. Does everyone know? No, they must not. She'll ask Winn later. God, today has been a strange day. 

She pokes Winn hard in the arm during gym class.  
"Look at Kara," she whispers.  
"Oh no. Oh no. Definitely no," replies Winn. "Neither of us have a chance with her."  
"Is that her boyfriend?" asks Lena, pointing at... Mark? Lena doesn't know his name.  
"Yeah, that's Mike," replies Winn. "He's the quarterback. She's the head cheerleader. It's true love, obviously."  
"Hm," Lena mutters.  
"What are you thinking?" asks Winn. "It better not be what I think you're thinking. Lena. Lena." His voice is getting more frantic by the minute.  
"I think we both know what I'm thinking," Lena says calmly.  
"No. Stop thinking that, Lena. You'll just get your heart broken. Smashed into tiny pieces."  
"Thanks for the hope," Lena replies.  
"There is no hope," answers Winn. "Kara isn't for people like us. Bottom-of-the-food chain people. She's for people like Mike."  
"Who says?" asks Lena.  
"Them."  
"Who's them?" asks Lena, and Winn rolls his eyes. It's a conversation they've had many times before, and he always gives her the same answer.  
"That's just how it is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can find me on my tumblr, which is @ohsupergirls. shoot me an ask! i'll be happy to answer it, or if you have a gif request or something i have all of supergirl season two saved to make gifs with.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all laugh, and Alex puts her hand on Maggie's shoulder. Lena is suddenly intensely jealous of the casual contact that they share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a good one folks. that's why i'm posting it at 10:30 when i should be trying to sleep. also a bit of a trigger warning for homophobia this chapter but i didn't use any offensive language and it's not graphic or anything like that at all.

Lena sits with Maggie and Alex at lunch, dragging Winn along with her.  
"That's too many girls," Winn complains, and Lena laughs at him.  
"You only ever hang out with me. I'm a girl."  
"Yeah, but the proportions are different! I'm overpowered."  
"That's ridiculous," replies Lena. "Now, come on." She pulls him by the wrist to where Maggie and Alex are sitting.  
"Is it okay if we... sit here?" asks Lena.  
"Of course!" says Alex, and Maggie nods beside her. Lena squishes herself onto the bench opposite them, and lays out her lunch on the table. She has carrot sticks and a slice of pizza from the cafeteria.  
"Is that cafeteria pizza?" asks Maggie.  
"Uh, yeah, it is," replies Lena, suddenly nervous to be hanging around these older girls.  
"Ew," says Maggie. "Here, have some of my food. You don't want to be eating that pizza."  
"What? Why not?"  
"It's bad for you. Plus, there's mice in the kitchen."  
"Sure, there are," Winn interjects sarcastically.  
"There are!" replied Maggie, defensive. "I saw them. It's technically against the law, but nobody really cares." They all laugh, and Alex puts her hand on Maggie's shoulder. Lena is suddenly intensely jealous of the casual contact that they share. She spends the rest of the lunch hour laughing with Winn and Maggie and Alex. It goes down in her books as a good day. 

The next day? Not so much.

It starts out fine. Lena gets to school on time, for once. When she opens her locker, a folded up sticky note falls out. She opens it, and reads it. 'stupid gay. get out of our school', it says. Lena feels tears of anger brimming up in her eyes. 

"Show the principal," urges Winn at lunch.  
"He won't do anything," says Maggie.  
"I hate to say it, but it's true," adds Alex. "I was being picked on for being gay in freshman year, and I showed the principal, but he said he couldn't do anything about it. I'm assuming you don't want to be outed. I wouldn't go see him if I were you."  
"Thanks," replies Lena. "Really, thanks for the advice," she says, still sounding sarcastic even though she doesn't mean to. It's just one of those days, she figures, where everything goes wrong. 

Winn walks her to all her other classes until they're split up for health.  
"No one's trying to hurt me," she says, rolling her eyes.  
"Sometimes it's not physical hurt that I'm trying to help you with, Lena," replies Winn.  
"Sage advice, master Yoda,"  
"A good Jedi you will make," says Winn, laughing. 

Someone taps her on the shoulder as she's writing her paper on nutrition in health class. She turns around and sees that it's Kara.  
"Lena," she says. "Come with me please?" Lena's heart is racing. It's not what she thinks. It can't be what she thinks. That's ridiculous, stop wishing, Lena. You'll only be disappointed. Kara leads her into an empty classroom. She leans against one of the desks, and fidgets with her hands. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and takes a deep breath.  
"So, what is it?" Lena prompts, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. Kara takes a deep breath, and then does something Lena would never, never expect. Kara kisses her. Lena's eyes widen, and then she closes them. She puts her hands on Kara's slightly exposed waist, and her skin is warm. Her lips are soft pressed against Lena's and they seem to fit together perfectly. She pulls Kara closer and squeezes her eyes shut and oh god this would definitely but a dream but it feels so real and so clear. Kara's hand is on the back of her neck and her leg is brushing against Lena's and Lena can really truly feel Kara like she's never felt a person before. And then Kara breaks away, and leaves the classroom, running off into the hallway.  
"Wait!" Lena cries, halfheartedly. She slowly takes a few steps out the door, feeling more disconnected from the world than ever before. Kara's face was in pain when she left, and it's been imprinted in Lena's mind, playing over and over again like some sort of sick joke.  
"Kara," she whispers. "Kara, what have you done? What have you gotten yourself into?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!! I'm as excited as you guys are, honestly (i hope you're excited) !!! thanks for reading! it's not ending by the way there's still more to sort out but i feel like this is some kind of milestone. come talk to me on tumblr, i'm @ohsupergirls


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lena, Lena, come here. It'll be alright," says Winn, putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. "It's always alright. We won't let anything happen to you, okay?"   
> Lena takes a deep breath.   
> "Okay."

The next few days pass quickly, or at least Lena thinks they do. She isn't really keeping track of time anymore.   
"You seem different," Winn tells her at lunch.   
"How?" asks Lena.   
"You're... distant. Like you're not hearing anything I'm saying."  
"Sorry," replies Lena.   
"What's this about?" Winn asks.   
"Nothing. It's, well, nothing really." Lena isn't lying. It was nothing. Kara kissing her? It's nothing, because it couldn't have been anything. Kara hasn't given her so much as a glance since. Lena's starting to think that Kara's outright avoiding her. The school isn't so large that you could just not see someone for so long. It's impossible. 

She finally corners Kara in the library the next day. Lena normally isn't so bold, but she's angry. Really angry.   
"Why, Kara?" Lena asks, whisper-shouting.   
"Why what?" asks Kara calmly.   
"You know what!" says Lena.   
"I don't,"   
"You kissed me," Lena's voice drops to a hush. "You told me we should talk, and you brought me into an empty classroom, and you kissed me. And I liked it, and I know you did too."  
"Fine," replies Kara, her voice short. She's quickly losing her temper. "It was a mistake. It won't happen again." Lena feels all the air go out of her lungs.   
"No," she says.   
"What?"  
"No. That kiss was the best thing that ever happened to me and you don't get to let it go so easily."  
"I get to do what I want," says Kara. "Just... forget about it, okay Lena? It's what's best for both of us. I'm sorry."   
Lena leaves the library, her head hung in shame. Nothing could be real between the two of them. It was just a pipe dream. A ridiculous fantasy. 

She goes to the dance studio after school. It usually calms her down, but tonight it isn't helping. Ms. Lopez has so many questions for Lena, ranging from ones about schoolwork, to ones about her love life. Lena doesn't know if Ms. Lopez knows she's a lesbian, but she must suspect something. She's known Lena for so long now, and most of the girls at the dance studio have been into boys at some point in their high school years. It's nice to have an adult who she can just talk to. She doesn't talk to her parents much, and Lex is great for teaching her hand-to-hand combat, but he isn't much of a conversationalist. Lena relishes her time at the dance studio, working until her feet are sore and she can barely walk home. Ms. Lopez says she works harder when she's stressed about something at school. Lena thinks that this is probably true. 

"Winn?" says Lena at lunch.   
"Mphh?" replies Winn, his mouth full of sandwich.   
"Can I tell you something? You have to promise not to tell anyone else."  
"Not even Alex and Maggie?"   
"Not even them."  
"Is this a lesbian thing?" asks Winn, his voice hushed. "Because you know I can't help you with that stuff. Boys are my specialty. I don't understand girls."  
"Just let me tell you, okay?" Lena asks, and Winn nods, and she tells him the whole thing.   
"Oh no," he says. "Oh no no no. That is very bad, Lena."  
"You're not making me feel any better," she says. Winn is still shaking his head solemnly.   
"You have to stop thinking about her. You have to- god, I don't know. I've never been in a situation like this."  
"Me neither!" says Lena. "And in the one actually living it." Her voice cracks.   
"Lena, Lena, come here. It'll be alright," says Winn, putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. "It's always alright. We won't let anything happen to you, okay?"   
Lena takes a deep breath.   
"Okay."

Kara and Lena are the last ones in the locker room. Lena is putting away her gym shirt when Kara taps her on the shoulder.   
"What is it?" she asks, a little more rudely than she was intending.   
"I'm sorry about earlier," says Kara. "I was rude, and I shouldn't have been. I guess I'm just..." she trails off.   
"Just what?" asks Lena.   
"Scared," Kara whispers. "Of-of us. And what it would mean for me. And for Mike. And for, god, for the whole school. They all have their eyes on me, you know?" Lena laughs weakly.   
"I don't know," she says.   
"No, of course you don't," replies Kara. "I'm sorry."   
"It's okay," says Lena, and it really, truly is okay. She holds Kara's hands in her own, and leans in.   
"No," says Kara. "I'm sorry Lena, but I can't do this just yet." Lena takes a deep breath in.   
"Okay," she says. She wraps her arms around Kara and pulls her in for a hug.   
"I love you," she mumbles into Kara's hair.   
"Pardon?" asks Kara.   
"Nothing," replies Lena. "Nothing at all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys did you see the season finale? no spoilers but it made me very happy and melissa benoist acted the hell out of it. also in this universe Winn is gay but i don't think he'll get a love interest, sorry. i just don't really know anything about boys? i hope you liked it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you drunk?" asks Lena, a hint of suspicion in her voice.  
> "No," says Kara. "Just a little tipsy. Why do you ask?"  
> "Mike, your, uh, boyfriend seems pretty drunk."

"Lena!" shouts Winn excitedly from across the hall. "We got invited!"  
"What?" asks Lena.   
"We got invited, I said," replies Winn.   
"To where?"  
"The party!"  
"What party?" asks Lena, and Winn leans his head closer to hers.   
"Kara's party," he whispers, and Lena hits him in the shoulder. He deserves it.   
"You're such a drama queen," she says.   
"First of all, that's homophobic," says Winn, laughing. Lena shakes her head. "Second of all, I am not!"  
"So just talk like a normal person then," says Lena.   
"Fine," Winn replies, indignantly. Lena rolls her eyes.   
"So, tell me about this party," she says, and Winn perks up again.   
"Oh! It's at Kara's house on Friday evening. Mike said there'll be beer, but you probably won't have to drink any, and-"  
"Wait," Lena cuts him off. "Probably? Winn, I don't drink. I'm not... that kind of person."  
"Just try to have fun?" Winn asks.   
"I can have fun without drugging myself."  
"Who's the drama queen now? It's beer, not weed."  
"Still, can I be the designated driver or something?"  
"Sure, yeah," Winn says, shaking his head. "Drugging yourself," he mutters incredulously under his breath.   
"When should I get there?" asks Lena.   
"Mike said 7:30."  
"7:30. And what should I wear?"  
"Oh, whatever. Anything," says Winn. "Just don't over-do it."  
"Alright."

It's 7:00 on Friday night when Lena starts choosing what to wear. Kara will be there, obviously, so she wants to look nice. She runs her hand along all her shirts. They're all black and crumpled. Lena really doesn't have anything nice. She walks carefully into Lex's room. He probably won't have anything she can wear, but she takes a look in his drawer anyway. He has what seem like endless stacks of white button downs and a single black blazer. She looks in his closet, and sees a light blue denim jacket. She goes back to her own room and settles for her cleanest black t-shirt, with the jacket on top. She's asked her mum if she can use the car and her mum didn't technically say no but she was sleeping when Lena asked. Oh well, she won't notice anyways. She drives carefully over to Kara's house and knocks on the door. The porch light is on, and Mike answers.   
"Heeeeey," he says, slurring his words. "You're... Lena! Right?"  
"Yeah," she replies. "I'm Lena."  
"Come on in! Do you want anything to drink?"   
"No thanks, I'm the designated driver."  
"Ah, cool. So cool. Anyways-" he says, trailing off as he walks away from her. Lena scans the crowd for a hint of anything familiar. She sees Kara, the blonde hair that she knows so well sticking out in the crowd. She slowly makes her way over, being careful to avoid the couples sloppily making out.   
"Lena!" Kara says, turning around excitedly.   
"Are you drunk?" asks Lena, a hint of suspicion in her voice.  
"No," says Kara. "Just a little tipsy. Why do you ask?"  
"Mike, your, uh, boyfriend seems pretty drunk."  
"Oh god," Kara says, putting her face in her hands. "Of course he is." She pulls Lena over into a quiet room in the hall and closes the door.   
"Why do you stay with him?" asks Lena. Kara looks slightly affronted.   
"What do you mean?" she asks.   
"You two seem to do nothing but fight. Do you even like him?"  
"Of course I like him!" replies Kara. "Look. Lena, it's sweet of you to care but I don't need your help taking care of Mike."  
"Alright, sorry," replies Lena. "Just, come talk to me if he ever crosses a line, okay?"   
"Yeah, okay," replies Kara, and she smiles sweetly. She puts her hands on either side of Lena's face, and stares at her lips. "Kiss me?" she asks and brings their faces together, but as soon as they touch, Lena pulls back.   
"Kara, I thought you didn't want this just yet," she says.   
"Well, now I do," Kara replies.   
"I don't think you do. I think it's the alcohol talking."  
"Maybe you're just scared, Lena. Being with me would have repercussions for you, too, you know."  
"Kara, you don't know how much I want to be with you. I don't know if you'll ever know. Saying no like this is so hard for me. But it's the right thing to do. Wait until morning, at least," Lena says, guiding Kara to the couch at the far side of the room. "Come sit with me," she says, and Kara sits, leaning her lead on Lena's shoulder. She curls her legs up into her body, and Lena puts an arm around her shoulders.   
"It'll be okay," says Lena.   
"I know it will," replies Kara, and Lena kisses her gently on the top of the head, brushing her hair back. Kara lets out a soft sigh, and wishes so, so hard for a happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so as it turns out I have no have no regular updating schedule. also, mike isn't a bad guy in this; he's just a teenage boy trying to work some stuff out. ik Maggie and Alex weren't in this chapter but they play a big role in the next one. thanks for reading!! also if you have any comments, please leave them!! even if you didn't like it lol


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a party, and she and Kara spent the whole time... snuggling? Winn was going to be furious.

Lena wakes up underneath a warm body. She blinks her eyes a few times and looks down. Kara's lying in her lap, and all of a sudden everything comes back to her. There was a party, and she and Kara spent the whole time... snuggling? Winn was going to be furious. She was supposed to drive him home. Lena could see the sunlight filtering through the almost closed blinds. There was a red plastic cup lying on the ground, and she heard footsteps.   
"Kara," she whispered. "Kara!"  
"Yeah?" Kara asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes.  
"Is there someone else in the house?"  
"What? I don't think so. Unless Mike stayed over."  
"Well, he can't find us like this, can he?"  
"Oh, god no," says Kara, suddenly jumping to her feet. "You should go, Lena. I don't mean to be rude, but you really should."  
"Wait," replies Lena. "You said we could talk in the morning, didn't you?"  
"Well, yeah," says Kara.   
"Do you still want to be with me? Now that you're sober and rested and everything?" Lena bites her lip, anxiously waiting for an answer.   
"Of course," replies Kara. "I mean, yeah, I do. But there are other problems."  
"Such as?" asks Lena, hoping she doesn't sound too obnoxious.   
"There's Mike. I'm still technically dating him, Lena. And you should probably go before he comes in."   
"Bye, Kara," says Lena, giving her a little wave before walking out the doorway. The conversation was perfectly respectful, and Lena got what she was hoping for, but something still felt frigid when she was talking to Kara. Kara still has doubts, Lena realizes. And maybe Lena does too. 

Alex whispers something to Maggie at lunch, and they both laugh quietly.   
"Hey guys?" asks Winn nervously. "Can I ask for some advice?"  
"Sure," says Maggie.   
"So, uh, some of the more sporty guys have been kinda shoving me around lately."  
"What? Who?" asks Lena incredulously, and Winn shakes his head.   
"Anyways, one of them called me gay the other day, and I just-" Winn's voice breaks off.   
"You just what?" asks Maggie.   
"I just... I don't know what to do. Should I go to the principal, or just ignore it? They're mostly twelfth graders, so they're leaving next year."  
"The problem won't stop with them," says Alex, a grim look on her face. "Have you told your parents?"   
"My parents don't know I'm... gay. I haven't come out yet. I don't want to raise any alarms," he says, and Maggie rubs her forehead. Alex puts an arm around her shoulders, and Winn jumps out of his seat as soon as the bell rings.   
"Okay, bye guys," he says quickly, rushing away.   
"Well, that sucks," says Alex. "Poor Winn. I didn't know it was this bad for him."  
"Me neither," replies Lena. "I wish I'd known sooner. There's nothing I can do, but I wish I'd known, you know?"  
"Yeah," says Maggie. "I know." Alex rubs her arm and leans into her.   
"Anyways," says Lena. "I have class. Goodbye, you two!" Alex and Maggie watch her leave across the lunchroom.   
"I went through that," says Maggie quietly.   
"I know," replies Alex.   
"I don't want Winn to feel the way I did," she says.   
"I know. Me neither."  
"He's so young, it's not fair."  
"You were that young."  
"I'm tougher than he is. He wasn't raised strong. He's not used to it."  
"You shouldn't be used to it either. You don't deserve that Maggie, you know that, right?"  
"I know that," says Maggie, and the side of her mouth quirks up in a half smile. "You're a really good girlfriend Alex," she says, but a different phrase is running through her mind.

"He's being bullied for being gay?" asks Kara. She's standing with Lena in the girls' washroom, an anxious expression on her face.   
"Yeah," says Lena.   
"God," says Kara. "I knew people were homophobic here but I didn't think they were that obvious about it." A look of horror crosses her face. "God, was it Mike? Was he hurting Winn?"  
"No," replies Lena, putting a hand on Kara's shoulder. "It wasn't Mike."  
"Thank god," Kara whispers, and buries her face in Lena's neck. "It's so hard, keeping it a secret."  
"I know how you feel," says Lena. "But it's worth it."  
"Yeah," Kara smiles. "Girls are-" she shakes her head. "You, you are amazing, Lena." She takes Lena's face in her hands, and gently presses her lips to Lena's. Lena puts an arm around Kara's waist and another around her neck, and just as she's about to deepen the kiss, she hears the door creak open. They jump apart, and standing in the doorway are Maggie and Alex, their eyes wide.   
"Wow," says Alex.   
"You guys-" Maggie cuts her off.   
"You're both gay? You're gay... together? Is this happening?" finishes Alex, and Maggie laughs.   
"I guess so," says Kara. "I mean,"  
"Yeah, we're... together," says Lena.   
"And yes, this is happening."  
"Oh my god," says Alex. "Kara, I knew there was something weird going on with you."  
"Don't tell anyone," says Kara. "I swear to god, if either of you says anything I'll-"  
"It's okay," says Lena. "They're in a similar situation to us."  
"God," says Kara. "Closeted lesbians club."  
"Can Winn join?" asks Alex, and they all laugh weakly.   
"Well, this has been weird," says Maggie as she turns to exit, pulling Alex with her by the hand. "We'll leave you guys to it." Once the door is closed, Kara gives Lena a quick kiss on the cheek, and leaves the washroom. Lena sits and contemplates the day. Everything works out in the end, she decides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one took me a while to complete but it's about 200 words longer than normal!! also come talk to me about Wonder Woman at my tumblr: ohsupergirls (i love my crime-fighting dc girls)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just, god, leave me alone."  
> "Why are you being so rude to me, Lena?"  
> "Just leave me alone, I said."

"Lena, can I talk to you?" Maggie says, pulling her aside by the sleeve at lunch.   
"Yeah, sure, what's up?" asks Lena.   
"Respectfully," says Maggie, pausing, and Lena nods. "What the fuck are you doing with Kara?"  
"Pardon me?" asks Lena.   
"Are you dating her? Are you with her, like that? Are you just gals bein' pals?" asks Maggie, and Lena cringes. "What do you want out of this, Lena?"  
"I love her," says Lena, and immediately covers her mouth with her hand. "God, I just said that out loud, didn't I?" Maggie laughs quietly.   
"You did, Lena," she says.   
"God," replies Lena, and sinks down against the wall in embarrassment.   
"There's nothing wrong with it," says Maggie. "People fall fast. And I'd say you've definitely fallen for Kara. But, try to be a little more discreet about it?"  
"Do people know?" asks Lena.   
"I haven't heard anything, but the way you look at her - it's not platonic."  
"Oh my god," says Lena. "Okay, thanks, Maggie. This conversation has been... something." Maggie pats her on the shoulder and waves to Alex across the lunchroom.   
"Come on, Lena. Time to eat," says Maggie, and drags Lena along with her. She looks around the lunchroom and watches Mike lay a kiss on Kara's lips. Lena wonders what on earth she's doing. 

"Lena!" says Ms. Lopez sharply. "Your dancing is not up to par. What is going on?"   
"Nothing," replies Lena. "I swear."  
"Boyfriend troubles?" asks Ms. Lopez, and Lena almost laughs out loud.   
"No, definitely no," replies Lena.   
"Good. So work harder. You're missing something. Take an early night. Figure it out, Lena."  
Lena grabs her bag and leaves the dance studio. 

"Ms. Lopez said my dancing is diminishing," Lena says to Kara.   
"That sucks," she replies. "Do you know why?"   
"No, I can't figure it out."  
"Well, take some time, it'll all work out."  
"But what if it doesn't, Kara? I don't have time."  
"Of course you have time," replies Kara.   
"You don't understand." Lena looks away from Kara, casting her eyes downwards.   
"So, make me understand," says Kara.   
"You can't," replies Lena. "You don't know what it's like."  
"Try me."  
"Just, god, leave me alone."  
"Why are you being so rude to me, Lena?"  
"Just leave me alone, I said."  
"Lena, tell me what's wrong. I can help."  
"You can't help!" Lena shouts. She turns around and there are tears in her eyes. "You don't understand! You don't know what it's like, being stuck here with some big stupid secret that you can't tell anybody. You're popular, you have it easy, Kara."  
"So?" asks Kara, and there's fire in her eyes. "You think I don't understand how you feel? I have to keep our thing a secret too! You think that doesn't hurt me? You have a plan, a way to get out of here. I don't. I'm not even particularly good at anything. So don't lecture me about being stuck here, Lena, don't."  
"Get out," says Lena, quietly. "Get out, get out, get out!" Kara leaves the room and shuts the door hard behind her. Lena sobs into her hands. She knows why she isn't dancing well all of a sudden.

"Winn, it's getting worse?" asks Maggie.   
"Why didn't you tell us?" adds Alex.   
"It's not a big deal, you guys. Besides, there's nothing I can do. I told you, I'll just wait it out."  
"At least let us walk you to your classes, Winn. Maggie's trained in tae kwon do." Winn laughs. "Sure," he says.   
"Don't laugh at me," says Maggie, mock-indignantly. "I'm going to the New York police academy when I'm out of this wretched place."  
"Wait, really?" asks Winn. "Cool! What're you doing, Alex?"  
"I'm going to university for bio-engineering."  
"Wow," says Winn. "I haven't even thought about it. I think I want to go into computers." Maggie nods.  
"Cool choice," she says. "And it pays well, too."  
"Neat," says Winn. "I hadn't thought of that."  
"That's sweet of you," says Alex. 

"Lena, I'm sorry."  
"I'm sorry too."  
"It's okay." She hugs Lena softly. 

"Kara?" Lena mumbles. She's lying in her bed, her hair splayed over her pillow. "Kara! Kara!" She sits up and takes a deep breath. Rubbing her eyes, she grabs her phone and dials Kara's number.   
"Lena?" Kara answers. "What is it? It's almost two in the morning."  
"I'm sorry," says Lena. "I must have gotten disoriented."  
"Tell me what's wrong," says Kara.   
"I just, I had a bad dream."  
"What happened?"  
"I don't remember. I know that I needed your help and you weren't hearing me."  
"Deep," says Kara sarcastically, and she snorts. Lena lets out a giggle. It feels good to laugh.   
"Goodnight, Kara," she says.   
"Goodnight, Lena."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being with Kara is blissful. They lie on Lena's bed, listening to songs on her phone, enjoying each other's company. Sometimes they talk in hushed voices, sometimes they stay silent.

"I broke up with Mike."  
"You did what now?" asks Lena.   
"I broke up with him," replies Kara.   
"Why?"   
"I think you know why," says Kara, quietly.   
"What did you tell him?" asks Lena.   
"I told him that I thought he was cheating on me with some of the other girls."  
"Was he?"  
"I don't think so. He was getting close with them though."  
"Oh. That sucks, I guess," says Lena, unsure how she should respond.   
"Not really. I mean, a little. Mike was a nice guy, but now it's not weighing on my conscience, you know?"  
"Yeah," says Lena.   
"Now I can do things like this, without feeling bad."  
"Things like wha-" Kara cuts her off by pressing her mouth to Lena's. Lena puts a hand on her cheek, and breathes in. Kara smiles against her lips, and pulls away.   
"You look beautiful," says Lena, and Kara laughs.   
"Thank you," she says, smiling. "You do too." She tucks a lock of hair behind Lena's ear and grabs her back, heading off to her next class.   
"See you," says Lena, and Kara waves in return.

Being with Kara is blissful. They lie on Lena's bed, listening to songs on her phone, enjoying each other's company. Sometimes they talk in hushed voices, sometimes they stay silent. Sometimes they kiss, sometimes they just lie there with their hands intertwined, Kara's hair framing her face. Lena helps Kara with her homework, and vice versa. Sometimes Alex and Maggie and Winn come over and they have cheese and strawberries and talk about their days, but mostly Lena and Kara are alone. And Lena is just fine with that. She's more than fine with that. She loves it. 

"I do know how much you want to be with me," says Kara one day.   
"What?" asks Lena.   
"You said to me one time that I'd never know how much you wanted to be with me. I do know, because that's how much I love being with you."  
"I love being with you too, Kara," says Lena, dancing around the words she wants to say. "You mean so much to me. So much."  
"You're beautiful," says Kara, and Lena smiles.   
"You too."

"I know what I want to do after graduation," Kara tells Lena and the others over lunch.   
"Oh, what?" asks Lena.   
"I want to be a reporter. I'd get to talk to people, which I love, I get to write, which I also enjoy, and it pays well."  
"Awesome!" says Lena. "I'm going to New York to be a dancer." Kara squeezes her hand under the table. It bothers Lena that they don't tell anybody besides Alex and Maggie and Winn about the two of them, but it's for the best. Lena sees the hurt on Kara's face whenever the boys in their gym class call someone "gay", but she'll learn to hide it. Lena has. It'll be better, she knows it will. 

Alex and Maggie start a gay-straight alliance club at their school. More kids join than Lena's expected. She goes for the first meeting, and it's nice to be around people she understands. People who understand her. They introduce themselves and swap stories and drink pop and there are plenty of people who Lena genuinely enjoys talking to. Kara brings some of her cheerleading friends, and introduces herself as an ally. Lena sees Maggie give Alex a look when Kara speaks, and they both stare pityingly at Lena. Lena smiles back at them. It's up to Kara to decide when to come out, if in high school at all. It's not anyone else's choice. 

"I love you." Kara says it first.   
"I love you, too," Lena replies, and cups Kara's face in her hands. She takes a deep breath in, and Kara presses her lips to Lena's. She brings her hands down, and clasps Kara's in them.   
"So much," says Lena, and Kara blushes.   
"I love you so much too."

They say it all the time after that. When Kara leaves Lena's house, when they're texting, when they separate for class. Discreet, whispered I Love You's in the school. Almost obnoxiously sweet ones over texting. It's the perfect end to Lena's year. The girl of her dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's the end! i hope you all enjoyed, and here are my head canons for the rest of Lena and Kara's story. 
> 
> -the gang moves to national city  
> -alex and maggie live together in a little apartment, and kara, lena, james and winn shell out and buy themselves a medium sized house that they all live in together  
> -lena has a moderately successful career as a dancer before leaving the stage to raise her two daughters, maya and lucy  
> -maggie joins the police force and becomes one of the youngest detectives in the precinct. she's sharp, quick on her feet, and a hard worker  
> -alex gets a job at the special victims unit. the two are happy to work and live together  
> -they get married on a sunny day in september. maggie has sunflowers in her hair, and alex kisses her wife with more love than she ever has before  
> -kara becomes a renowned journalist, writing some of the most informative news stories in the city. she works under cat grant for some time, and, as cat says, she gets to the bottom of every damn story  
> -winn also works at catco, as a programmer. he's doing what he loves most, working with computers. he starts up a program for young lgbt kids where he teaches them how to program small robots  
> -kara and lena get married in the spring. they both wear knee-length white dresses, and lena's hair is braided up into a knot.   
> -james takes beautiful pictures of their wedding, which lena never hesitates to show their daughters  
> -everything is lovely


End file.
